• me: *owns 264 unread books*
  • me: *buys 17 new books*
  • me: *rereads harry potter*
  • pantsareunwelcome:

legendary

    square-enix:

    daeneryus:

    shutupaubrey:

    princesschloepea:

    life tip whatever dumb ass name you get siri to call you is what your iphone automatically signs your emails as. i have been applying to jobs for 2 months as queef.

    image

    #OH MY GOD OH GMY GOD OH MY GOD NO N ONO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO #HOLY SHIT #I HAVE BEEN APPLYING TO JOBS AS ANAL DESTROYER

    IVE BEEN SIGNING ALL MY EMAILS TO MY THERAPIST AS LANCE ARMSTRONG’S MISSING TESTICLE

    iwantyoureffingtatertots:

    I want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 2 in the morning and will tell me their favorite songs and their family problems and how they think the earth was made

    bontakunkeion:

    acoustic cover of me crying

    rowanandphoenixfeather:

    one of my roommates used to work with 5th graders in a creative writing class thing and they had to write a romance and most of the kids wrote stories about princesses and crap but this one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa and he loved the cocoa so much that in order to be with her he melted and died like wow kid that’s some shakespearian shit right there

    bullied:

    party at my house bring food then leave

  • person: but what if your parents had aborted YOU
  • me: well okay for starters i wouldn't have been forced to hear that stupid ass comment you just made
  • astreals:

curious
  • Person: Have you seen that episode where...
  • Me: I have seen every episode, go on
  • whouer:

when you try your best but your don’t succeed

    kookie667:

    Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”