life tip whatever dumb ass name you get siri to call you is what your iphone automatically signs your emails as. i have been applying to jobs for 2 months as queef.
IVE BEEN SIGNING ALL MY EMAILS TO MY THERAPIST AS LANCE ARMSTRONG’S MISSING TESTICLE
I want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 2 in the morning and will tell me their favorite songs and their family problems and how they think the earth was made
acoustic cover of me crying
one of my roommates used to work with 5th graders in a creative writing class thing and they had to write a romance and most of the kids wrote stories about princesses and crap but this one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa and he loved the cocoa so much that in order to be with her he melted and died like wow kid that’s some shakespearian shit right there
party at my house bring food then leave
Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”